April 11, 2004

"Arkansas Traveler" Skit First One-Liners

Old comedy - like old wine, and old columnists   - gets better with age.

Abbot and Costello break me up when they do "Who's On First?" Early Burns and Allen skits, and Laurel and Hardy movies, still evoke laughter on late night reruns.

The longest-lived comedy act of all time -- though now nearly forgotten -- has to be "The Arkansas Traveler."

It originated as a sheet music melody by W.C. Peters in 1847. Comedic dialog was put to the tune by Mose Case in 1858 and was hugely popular thereafter on variety stages.

It was still going strong with "tent shows" that toured the rural south as late as 1927 when I, as a little boy, was entranced by a rendition in Boot Heel, Missouri.

The performing "shtick" - as they say in show business - is an exchange of one-liners between a "straight man" and a "clown."

The straight man was always the best paid. He had to judge the audience, select the jokes from a large repertoire and weave in local situations. The clown simply had to deliver well-rehearsed "punch lines."  

Ability of performers to be timely while tickling the funny bones of all ages and genders was the key to the routine's longevity. The act was never given the same way twice.

In the "good old days" before television, entertainment for small town audiences was provided by traveling circuses, minstrel shows, Chautauqua lectures, musical pageants and dramatic plays.

Troupes usually traveled from place to place via special trains, but by caravans of trucks when the auto age arrived.

The Adcock Touring Company was prominent throughout the South. It gave dramatic performances until the movies and the Great Depression drove it out of business.

Adcock featured actors in plays that leaned heavily on the wages of sin. But this was balanced with a good dollop of comedy.  

The "Arkansas Traveler" was a favorite because it featured a backwoods character getting the best of a city slicker. Joe Pitts was well known for his portrayal because he was adept at localizing his routine. The Bob Hope of his day.

The biggest crowds for tent shows came in the Fall after the cotton was in. Sharecroppers had a little cash and yearned for amusement after long hard months in the fields.

Cash wasn't always necessary. A dozen eggs, or a quart of blackberry preserves, were readily accepted for admission.

As a lad handy with tools, I worked my way into the show by re-nailing a loose step on Mr. Adcock's caravan home-office on wheels.

 A Typical Routine  

A typical routine was recorded by the Edison Company in 1890 on a wax cylinder.

The Arkansas Traveler opens with a "hillbilly" in bib overalls and straw hat sitting on a rickety chair and playing a fiddle.

He represents a squatter trying to recapture a tune. He plays one bar of a melody over and over - in various keys and cadences:

INSERT ART MUSIC #1 TO FIT 1 COL

Finally, the rube stamps his foot in frustration and lets loose a string of colorful - but socially acceptable - epithets starting with "darnation?"

At this moment, a well-dressed traveler comes on stage and engages the fiddler in conversation.

The traveler is lost and seeking lodging for the night. However, the squatter is irritated by the interruption and answers abruptly - playing the first bar of the elusive tune after each sally.

 *

Traveler - How do you do, friend.

Squatter - Do pretty much as I please, sir.

 *

T - Do you live about here?

S -- I reckon I don't live any wheres else.

 *

T -- Well, how long have you lived here?

S --  See that big tree yonder? It was there when I came here.

 *

T - Can I stay here tonight?

S - Yes, you kin stay right thar in the road.

*

T - How far is it to the next tavern.

S - It's so far you can't get thar from here.

*

T - Have you any spirits here?

S - My cabin ain't haunted, but there's plenty of them in the grave yard.

 *

T -- You mistake my meaning. I'm wet and cold and want some whiskey. Have you got any?

S. Nope. I drunk the last this morning.

 *

T - I'm hungry. Can't you give me something to eat?

S - Hain't a durned thing in the house. Not a moufful uv meat nor a dust of meal.

*

T- Well, can't you give my horse something?

S - I can give him a swift kick in the rump if you want.

*

T - How far is it to the next house?

S - I don't know. I've never been thar.

 *

T -- If I'm not too bold, what might your name be?

S - It might be Tom, and it might be Dick, but it lacks right smart of either.

*

T - Where does this road go?

S - It never goes any whar. It's always thar when I git up in the morning.

 *

T -- Can I get across the creek down here?

S - I reckon you can. The ducks cross there whenever they want.

*

T - As I'm not likely to get to any other house tonight, won't you let me sleep in yours?

S - My house leaks. Thar's only one dry spot in it, and me and Sal sleeps on it.

 *

T - Why don't you put some shingles on your roof?

S - It's been rainin' all day.

 *

T - Why don't you fix it in dry weather?

S - It don't leak then.

 *

T - What do you do for a living?

S - Keep tavern and sell whiskey.

*

T - Well, I told you I wanted some whiskey.

S - Stranger, I bought a bar'l of whiskey more'n a week ago. Me and Sal went shars. After we got it here, we only had a two-bit betweenst us.  Sal didn't want to use hern fust, nor me mine. I had a spiggin in one end, and she in nother. So she take a drink out'n my end and pays me the bit fir it. Then I'd take a drink out'n hern and give her the bit. Well, we's making money hand over fist 'til our oldest boy born a hole in the bottom to suck at. Next time I went to buy a drink, we wuz out of business.

 *

T - I'm sorry your whiskey is all gone; but, why don't you play the balance of that tune?

S - It's got no balance to it. That's the trouble. I only know the beginnin.

T - Well, I can play the rest of that tune.

Big Finale  

With this, the squatter stops playing and jumps from his chair.

"Gee, stranger, can you play the rest of that tune? I've been down to New Orleans and I heard that at the theater.

"I've been at work at it ever since I got back, trying to play the last part of it.

"If you can play the rest of that tune, you can stay in this cabin for the rest of your natcheral life.

"Take a half-dozen chairs and sot down. I don't care if it is a rainin'. You can have the dry spot. And I don't care if the beds is all full. We'll make a pallet on the floor and you can kiver with the door.

"Hey, Sal, ole woman, fly round and get some corn dodgers and bacon for the gentleman. He knows how to play the last part of that dad-blame tune, don't you stranger?

"Gol, don't go back on it now. If you say you don't there'll be some of the wildest sawin around here you ever seed!"

The traveler replies,

"Well, yes, I can play it; but there's no use your getting mad. I'll play it for you as soon's I get something to eat.

The squatter then hollers through the door.

"Stir your sticks, old woman, set the table, bring out the knives and forks."

Sal hollers back,

"You know we ain't got any forks, and there ain't knives to go 'round."

The squatter replies, indignantly,

"Like to know why there ain't. There's big butch and little butch, and short handle and corn-cob handle, and no handle atall. If that ain't knives nuff to eat at any gentleman's table I would like to know.

"Come in stranger, and have someth'n; and then play that tune."

The traveler sits down in the chair, takes the fiddle and plays the whole tune while the squatter jigs wildly:

INSERT ART MUSIC #2 TO FIT 1 COL

The squatter, now much animated, begins plying the traveler with questions -- where he came from, who he is, where he is going, etc.

To all of which, the traveler replies in the same style as he was treated when he came - playing the last two bars each time.  

It was all homespun humor, but boffo box office in an era of simple pleasures. How many TV sitcoms today will last a hundred years?

Well, maybe Andy Griffith and Don Knotts.

Author: Lindsey Williams

Cutlines A and B -

4 cols adjacent  Courtesy Museum of City of New York These Currier & Ives prints of 1870 portray an Arkansas Traveller on horseback bantering with a backwoods hill billy struggling with a fiddle tune.

In A the traveler seeks directions and accommodations but is rebuffed. In B he plays the elusive fiddle tune and is boisterously welcomed.

3 - l col musical bars #1

4 - 1 col musicalbars #25  -- 4 col. truck

OPTIONALPhotos courtesy Library Congress Travelling tent shows originally toured via special railroad trains, by trucks later. Local boys earned admission by helping unload equipment.

6 - 4 col peeking boys - OPTIONAL Boys failing to be chosen for admission chores watched installation of chairs, stage and lighting equipment by peeking under the tent.  

0000 end oooo