January 11, 2004

Curiosity Shop Sale

This conceptual image of Christ is created by a single, spiraling line - starting at the tip of the nose -- that thickens and thins to form shadings.
The illustration is a detail from "The Napkin of St. Veronica" engraved in 1689 by the French artist Claude Mellan.
filesize: 650 x 884 Pixels

The New Curiosity Shop, having accumulated an overstock, herein offers a sometimes clearance sale. The lot consists of odds and ends a columnist accumulates but cannot find for them a specific use.

The management accepts printables on consignment.

Our Queer Language

Friend C.C. offers this poem at half-price because it is shopworn, having been published in 1890 by that great Greek poet A. Nonymous:

We will begin with a box,
And the plural is boxes.
So the plural of ox is oxen,
Not oxes.
One fowl is a goose,
But two are called geese.
Yet, the plural of moose
Should never be meese.
You find a lone mouse
Or a whole nest of mice,
But the plural of house
Is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man
Is always called men,
Isn't the plural of pan
Better called pen?
A plural cow is called Cows or kine,
But a bow if repeated
Is never called bine;
And the plural of vow is vows, never vine.
If I speak of a foot,
And you show me feet,
And I give you a boot,
Would a pair be beet?
If one is a tooth,
And a set is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural
Of booth be beeth?
If the singular's this,
And the plural is these,
Should plural of kiss
Ever be named khese?
Then one may be that
And three may be those.
Yet, hat in the plural
Would never be hose.
And the plural of cat
Is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother,
And also of brethren,
But we say mother
And never say methren.
The masculine pronouns
Are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine
She, shis and shim
So the English, I think
You will agree,
Is the queerest language
You ever did see.

Where Credit Belongs

Theodore Roosevelt was one our great presidents, because he was pro-active about things he believed in. He believed citizens should be engaged in worthy causes. Thus, his advice to community leaders is worth repeating:

"It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,

whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs and comes short again and again;
who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause;
who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement;
and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Civic Projects

True community leaders - in the Teddy Roosevelt mold - are undaunted by the cynic's "Progress of a Civic Project."

Proposal of project.
Enthusiasm.
Disillusionment.
Flight of original proposers.
Search for a guilty party.
Punishment of an innocent party.
Modification of original plan.
Rescue by a disinterested third party.
Completion of project.
Fame and honor for non-workers.

Washington's Cake

Friend A.J. sends a tattered 25-year-old clipping that asserts the information therein was discovered in "The American Metropolis" by Frank Moss regarding the history of New York streets.

* * *

It was a New York grocer, Mary Simpson, who originated the public holiday of George Washington's birthday.

Mary was one of the few trusted slaves the Washingtons brought from the Virginia plantation to staff their New York home when he took office as our first President in 1789.

Miss Simpson had a great ambition which she confided to "her General." It was, simply, to run a little store.

Before the Washingtons left New York for Philadelphia, the President gave Mary her freedom -- and financial aid to start a new life on her own.

Mary rented a basement at Cliff and John Streets. The store was in the front, living quarters in the rear. She sold milk, butter and eggs. She made cookies, pies and cakes to sell in the sweet case.

As a sideline, she washed shirts for the gentlemen of the neighborhood.

General George Washington was Mary's hero. His birthday was her birthday. Never did she forget the date and she would not tolerate forgetfulness in others.

Each year, those who shopped in the store - and the "gentlemen of the shirts" - were invited to her Washington birthday party.

This was a cake-and-punch affair - punch then being the fashionable drink. But coffee also was served. This Mary made pot by pot - to be hot the day long.

Mary baked a "Great Cake" that she said was the General's favorite - from Martha Washington's recipe.

The cake and refreshments were arranged on a table covered with her best cloth. The table was pushed to the wall beneath Washington's portrait that he had given her when she set up shop.

Nearby was a little goat-skin trunk that had belonged to the General. His initials in nail heads were marked in the lid.

Each year, Mary admitted being fearful. It was that if she didn't keep up the day by her small celebration, Washington would soon be forgotten.

Of course, George Washington is well remembered with the Washington Monument, Mount Vernon Plantation and an official holiday.

However, Martha Washington's cake recipe - kept by Mary Simpson - has been nearly forgotten. For gourmets and patriots, here it is:

CAKE

1 cut shortening
2 cuts sugar
4 eggs, separated
3 cups sifted flour
2 tsps baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix shortening and sugar thoroughly. Add egg yolks, beat well. Sift together flour, baking powder and salt. Add to creamed mixture alternately with milk. Beat until smooth. Add vanilla.

Beat egg whites until stiff but not dry. Fold into batter. Turn into three 8-inch round pans lined with waxed paper. Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes. Cool. Fill with chilled Cream filling.

FROSTING

6 tabsp flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups scalded milk
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

In top of double boiler, combine flour, sugar, and salt. Mix well. Slowly stir in scalded milk. Cook, stirring over hot water for 20 minutes.

Add a little of the hot mixture of two, slightly beaten eggs. Then stir into remaining mixture. Cook over hot water for five minutes. Add vanilla extract. Chill.

What's A Billion

Illinois Republican Sen. Everett Dirksen - famous for cutting federal budgets - often remarked in round, rolling syllables: "You add a billion dollars here, another billion dollars there, and pretty soon it adds up to real money."

Friend J.A. asks, "The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" casually, think about whether you want that politician spending your tax dollars.

"A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency (unnamed) did a good job of putting that figure into perspective:
"A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.
"A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.
"A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the stone age.
"A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes at the rate Washington spends it."

Things To Ponder

Friends H&D.S. worry about everyday mysteries. It's a tough job, but somebody has got to do it.

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer there?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator for a snack in hope that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Considering all the lint in your dryer, why don't your clothes eventually disappear?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the street the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend, and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything, and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
Why is that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If it is true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightening would be like if it didn't zig-zag?
If a man says something in the woods, and there are no women around, is he still wrong?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?